Turbo Boss Battle! Daily Gaming. Daily Exploding Shotgun Shells.

SNES-A-Day: Aladdin

Paul plays all the smelly Super Nintendo games he found under a pier.

Aladdin

Time played: 2 minutes

Apples thrown: 7

I was almost looking forward to playing this game because of it's lofty reputation as a solid, well-animated Capcom platformer. Then I played it. I threw some apples, broke some barrels, jumped on some awnings, and made a few fart sounds with my mouth. "Pfffffft meh."

Peh dehhh

So after dying several times because I didn't do a jump-on-a-guard's-head correct (cough BAD COLLISION DETECTION cough) I started thinking to myself "Was it the SNES version that was supposed to be good or was it the Genesis version?" Then I remembered the truth: It was the Tiger Handheld Aladdin that was the best.

Mom slow down I'm getting car sick

SNES-A-Day: Al Unser Jr’s Road to the Top

Time played: 4 minutes

Skills mastered: quitting events fast to try the others (still not fast enough)

Who is Al Unser Jr, and why is his big face plastered all over this game? That's the question we're hoping to figure out here. Here's a step-by-step breakdown of the Al Unser experience:

Did I ever find out who Al Unser Jr is? No - he blinded me with bleach and dumped me on the side of the road. Now I can only play Final Fantasy XIII by hearing!!

SNES-A-Day: Air Cavalry

Paul plays all the smelly Super Nintendo games he found under a pier.

Time played: 1 minute

Tanks destroyed: Those were tanks?

At the start of the 16-bit era game developers were eager to harness the awesome power of the Super Nintendo to achieve hyper-realistic virtual experiences. Well guess what:

Air Cavalry has you flying this poop-colored helicopter around a swamp shooting at tanks and AA guns. This whole game is based around Mode 7 effects, yet it somehow looks way worse than other other game I've seen using it. So it is impossible to tell if you are going to come across a tank or even if you're currently shooting. But it doesn't really matter, because the game starts you off on top of 5 tanks and they are all shooting at you at once, even if they haven't popped up on the "horizon" yet. So you explode almost instantly. This game is incomprehensible.

Game-A-Day: Aero the Acrobat TWO PACK

Paul plays all the smelly SNES games he found under a pier.

Aero the Acrobat

Time played: 2 minutes

Lives lost: 6

Aero the Acrobat slots in under Bubsy as the second worst Sonic-rip-off mascot of the 16-bit era. I've never actually played one of the games, but I remember being a kid and still not being tricked into thinking a flying circus bat with raditude was cool.

Starting it up I was shocked to realize that Iguana, the creators of my beloved Turok, developed this ass-trap. Shame! When I started to play I was surpised at how tiny Aero seemed on the screen. Not only was the player character small, but the environment was super sparse, filled with only thin tall objects and tiny clowns who didn't move.

Aero only controls with the D-pad and one button (1-press jump, 2-press hover-bat-attack button). This is really boring. And he dies instantly upon touching spikes.

Because you don't deserve to waste too much time wondering if the sequel, Aero 2, is an improvement here's

SNES-A-Day: Aero Fighters

Paul plays one Super Nintendo game a day (out of 700+ he found in a box) for however long it takes.

Aero Fighters

Time played: 15 minutes

Best line: "You cowards! You stole my girlfriend!" - British pilot

What a fun vertical scrolling shooter!

If you have time to take a good screen shot playing a shooter YOU'RE NOT REALLY PLAYING

There are four different pilots of different nationalities you can select - American, Japanese, Swedish, and British - each with a plane from their respective country. Each plane has different bullets and "special attacks", and even the money you pick up changes depending on which pilot you are using ($ for American, Kr for Swedish).

"I'M SWEDISH"

I played with each pilot because they all start off on different levels too. You soon realize that there are only so many levels, as they repeat, but its a nice gimmick to get me to keep playing. GOOB JERB!

Like all horizontal shooters, the challenge mostly comes in avoiding the giant boss' bullet storms. And once I got tired of that, I bid a fond farewell to Aero Fighters, which was more fun than UN Squadron, another real-world shooter which is too hard and sucks.

SNES-A-Day: The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends

Paul plays one Super Nintendo game a day (out of 700+ he found in a box) for however long it takes.

The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends

Time played: 6 minutes

Berries collected: BERRIES?

perfect graphics.

This game is terrible - make no mistake about it - but it actually captures a certain self-awareness that made the original Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoon so ground-breaking. In the intro movie Bullwinkle claims the game is exactly the same as the Game Boy version, to which the narrator replies that "No, this game is completely different. Really. Just start playing."

Once you start playing you realize its just another sloppy licensed game that's not 16-bit and sounds even worse. There are a few mini-games to be had with other Jay Ward cartoon characters (Dudley Do-right and Mr. Peabody), but they are super terrible

SNES-A-Day: The Adventures of Kid Kleets

Paul plays one Super Nintendo game a day (out of 700+ he found in a box) for however long it takes.

The Adventures of Kid Kleets

Time played: < 1 minute

Enemies killed: 0

All you need to know is summed up in the title screen...

ADVENTURES OF KID OLD-MAN

SNES-A-Day: The Adventures of Dr. Franken

Paul plays one Super Nintendo game a day (out of 700+ he found in a box) for however long it takes.

The Adventures of Dr. Franken

Time played: 2 minutes

Shovel-wielding tornadoes killed: 3

I had to take a brief break from playing a game a day due my "accidentally" drop-kicking my Super Nintendo off a dock. So I'm back with a sloppy, bad game with a "radical dude" Frankenstein monster that you'd play as.

SPOOKY ROUNDHOUSE KICK

I was, however, surprised by the diverse set of moves that "Dr. Franken" wields. He can shoot stun bolts or kill bolts, and has at least three different kinds of kicks. WOW.

SNES-A-Day: Addams Family Catch-up

Paul plays one Super Nintendo game a day (out of 700+ he found in a box) for however long it takes.

Due to a pretty social weekend and my desire to beat Mass Effect 2 (and me not looking forward to playing another Addams Family game) I didn't play any SNES games this weekend. But to make up for it I subjected myself to two terrible Addams Family games in a row.

THIS IS ME PLAYING THE GAMES - UGHHH IS RIGHT

The Addams Family: Pugsley's Scavenger Hunt

Time Played: 4 minutes

Lives Lost: 6

This game is not related to the Addams Family movies, but instead to the early 90's Saturday Morning cartoon version of the Addams'. I didn't like that cartoon and I don't like this game. It's just your dime-a-dozen sloppy-as-dog-diarrhea platformer, with tons of shit falling from the ceiling and spikes everywhere. I assume at some point you control Pugsley in some sort of scavenger hunt, but now its just navigating the little bastard around while rats throw cheese at you (seriously).