Turbo Review: Final Fantasy XIII vs. Alex
crafted by: Alex
Add Fang to my list of favorite JRPG characters
Final Fantasy XIII changes paradigm to Relentless Assault!
- Characters are diverse and conflicts between the group members are interesting
- Story is straight forward and enjoyable... for the first half of the game.
- Graphics, both in game and cinematic, are incredible.
- New battle/character development system is engaging, tactical, and makes you feel like every decision is important.
Alex casts Ruinga!
- Story becomes convoluted during the second half of the game.
- Lack of clear motivation / enemy during second half of the game.
- Vague weapons system will leave you clueless without using a guide.
- A few cheap, unavoidable battles, where enemy may 1-hit kill you.
- Side quests are more boring and uninspired than quests in MMOs.
Battle Summary:
I'm going to assume you have all read other reviews or played FFXIII, and also I assume that many of you are wondering why "linear" didn't show up under my negative list above. That is because i don't think the game being linear is bad, but rather differet. In fact in terms of story and characters, I thought Final Fantasy XIII shone brightest during the first 25-30 hours, and I felt the game nose dived at the point most reviews say the game becomes enjoyable. While the battle system becomes more enjoyable when you reach the "open world" section, the rest of the game suffers greatly. I felt like I wasn't making progress in the "open world" and the side quests were so terribly boring (hint hint: all quests require you to kill a specific enemy.)
That being said, I really enjoyed Final Fantasy XIII, more so than FFX and FFXII, and it got me back into JRPGs for the first time since the beginning of this generation. The game is long, it took me 42 hours to beat, and that is with only a few hours of side quests. For those of you who don't play many games, this may be great news, but personally I felt so incredibly relieved (and satisfied) when Final Fantasy XIII was finally over. This game is very different than from other Final Fantasy games, and you may find yourself disappointed at first, but give it a chance and you may find a lot to like.
Turbo Value: $50/$60
(msrp $60) score explanation...
Boss Battle: God of War III vs Alex
crafted by: Alex
This picture sums up GoW3 well.
God of War III uses Chains of High Quality to attack!
- Improved controls and combat.
- Incredible graphics, arguably the best graphics on a console.
- Incredible sense of scale including one of the best boss battles of all time.
- Upgrade system simplified and improved.
- New "Items" like a Bow that allow more diversity in combat.
- Bonus features and challenges all on one disc.
Alex counters with his Glaive of Sequels!
- Feels short compared to God of War II.
- Does not feel at fresh or as impressive as the original two games.
- Kratos has not been an interesting character since the original game.
- You go to hell for the third time. Really? I'm getting sick of this.
Battle Summary:
The original God of War was an incredible game. It was cinematic, brutal, simple, elegant, and the story was actually worth writing home about. While all of those qualities other than the story still stand, the game hasn't changed much since the original, for small refinements and a HUGE increase in scale. Each God of War game seems to dwarf the size of bosses from other games. I have to admit that I had trouble getting through the first real level of god of war, which is Hades Domain, because it just looks and feels so generic, and we've seen the hell card played in the other two games. But after that the game really picks up. I liked the game enough to beat it in a few days and admittedly I was left wishing for more, but I feel as if I have forgotten the game already. What's odd is that I KNOW I had more fun with the game than how I feel about it now, but I can't shake the feeling that I was ultimately disappointed in the game. Definitely play this game, but wait until it is cheaper.
Battle Results: Gaia has a heart attack, falls on Alex and God of War III, and kills them both.
Boss Battle: Bioshock 2 vs Paul
crafted by: Paul
Bioshock 2 attacks: Shoots fire at Paul! Paul's on fire!
- Vastly improved game play - dual-equipping guns and plasmids speeds up action
- Most levels are more interesting and varied than in Bioshock 1
- Smoother difficulty curve doesn't leave you pissed off at the end like Bioshock 1
- Some genuine spooks, shocks, and disturbing set-pieces
- No crappy final boss battle
- Better hacking mini-game
- A pleasure to revisit the world and mythology of Rapture
Paul attacks: Drains some life
- ...Doesn't add anything that crazy to the Bioshock and Rapture experience
- Not many new or impressive plasmids
- Been-there, done-that weapons and ammo
- One or two boring levels (design-wise)
- Protecting Little Sisters as they harvest Adam gets tedious
- Fighting Big Sisters not as fun as fighting Big Daddies, doesn't require and different technique
- No "Welcome to the Circus of Values" clown voice
Boss Battle: Heavy Rain vs. Alex
crafted by: Alex
Heavy Rain attacks: Stunning blow!
- A game unlike any other.
- Makes you feel emotions you rarely(if ever) experience from any media: Guilt, remorse, anxiety.
- A well written story that branches more than you might expect.
- Quick time events are mapped in a logical way. This allows for logical decision making even under pressure.
- Surprisingly good replayability for a "interactive drama."
- Difficult to put down once the narrative picks up.
Alex is in shock: Unable to attack.
- French people, speaking English, with American accents. Pretend that this takes place in another dimension. Problem solved.
- One major unexplained plot hole, various small ones if you look hard enough.
- Ability to alter the story may fall short of some peoples expectations.
- Some awkward writing.
- I can't get the DLC to work or to download! WTF is going on??
Battle Summary:
Heavy Rain is not a game, it is an experience. You grow fond of the characters quickly, then before you know it you are constantly thrust into positions where you feel that your every action will affect the life of your character or those around you. At some point in the game you will stop, and you will consider the consequences of you actions, and what it means for the future. At other times, the act of careful consideration may lead to your demise because you did not act fast enough. The fact that the game is completely devoid of a game over screen mean that your actions persist throughout the whole game.
Surprisingly I haven't heard anyone comparing this to Mass Effect, so I will. Heavy Rain handles decision and branching story the way I wish Mass Effect did. Mass Effect Lets you control HOW events happen, Heavy Rain lets you control WHAT events happen, and this distinction is very important. I listened to GameSpot's Hotspot spoiler podcast about Heavy rain, and every few minutes one of the hosts would be saying "Wait, what happened?" because inevitably, their story played out differently. I actually felt like the game was far too linear before I listened to the podcast. This game was an experiment, and a successful one that I really enjoyed, but I am unsure if I want to see another game that adopts the format to a new story. Though, I definitely want to see more games that can pull at emotions as effectively as Heavy Rain.
Battle Results: Heavy Rain kills Alex.
Boss Battle: Bayonetta vs. Alex
crafted by: AlexBayonetta attacks: Stiletto Gun attack is effective!
- Smooth responsive controls, great animation, battles that make you feel responsible, rather than feeling cheated by the game..
- Turbo abstract style. This game surpasses any dream I have ever heard of in terms of sheer insanity.
- Weapons all feel very distinct, lots of attack combination, and a couple transformation keep the battles feeling fresh.
- Levels can be repeated for more money and improved score. Can continue playing after you beat the game.
- Lots of things to buy at the store: weapons, special attacks, accessories that grant bonuses, extra costumes.
- Lengthy adventure: 10-14 hours. Note: I probably only purchased 1/4 of the items in the store on my first play through, and even that was the cheap stuff
Alex attacks: moderate damage, Alex flees.
- The story and characters are not very interesting, nor does it make much sense.
- Abstract style feels repetitive during the second half of the game.
- Combat is so hectic it is sometimes difficult to see and properly use witch time.
- Items seem too expensive. I would have liked to see more of them, but have little interest in playing the game again.
- Crotch shots and glowing va-jay-jays
More after the continue button!
Boss Battle: Darksiders vs. Alex
crafted by: Alex
Paul: "Link and Ganon have been working out, huh?" Alex: "No, this is Darksiders"
Darksiders attacks: critical damage!
- Unique style. Mix of fantasy in a post apocalyptic world.
- Story has enough substance to keep you interested.
- Great pacing. A new item/skill/attack/enhancement is always 15-30 minutes away.
- Lots of variety, from flying on a winged horse creature, to blasting angels with large angel cannons. (Don't worry, there is a demon cannon too, both are equally awesome!)
- Better than expected voice acting. Interesting characters.
- Lengthy adventure: 10-16 hours
Alex attacks: a glancing blow.
- Nothing new to see here
- Poorly mapped controls
- Late game item swapping can become a chore
- Lacking the side quests found in Zelda games.
Battle Summary:
Darksiders is what your mom thinks of when she hears the words "video game." A big dude, with a big sword, killing demons (and angels.) Darksiders doesn't try to be anything that it's not, it wants to be a video game, and it succeeds wholeheartedly. Darksiders is probably my favorite Zelda game since Majora's Mask. You've probably heard the comparisons already, but it really can't be stressed enough, If Princess Zelda and Kratos had a baby, it would be War. If you like Zelda and God of War, you WILL like Darksiders.
Battle Results: Darksiders defeats Alex.
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