TBB Summons “The Games of May!”
crafted by: PaulApril was kind of a crappy video game month. Just typing this I can't think of a game that came out. Oh yeah, Splinter Cell, zzzzzzz. Buy May! Wow! So many AAA games that it feels like March! MAYBE BIGGER? It is a month of big but sorta bizarre sequels - Red Dead Redemption is a sequel to Red Dead Revolver which no one played, The Forgotten Sands is a sequel to the Sands of Time and not the actual last Prince of Persia, and Super Mario Galaxy is the first straight-up sequel to a Mario game. Lots of weird racing games too, but I think I'm too old to care. -Paul
Wait... Mario 3 wasn't a straight up sequel?? -Alex
May 3
Picross 3D (DS)
Paul - Ask Alex...
Alex - I LOOOOOVE the original Picross on DS. It would have to fight with Peggle for my favorite casual game of all time. I'm a bit worried because I think making the format 3D may make this too complicated. Even in 2D, Picross required some pretty complex thinking. To be fair I know nothing about this game other than seeing about a couple of pictures, but i have high hopes.
May 4
Iron Man 2 (everything)
Paul - I'll never play this and will never think about playing this. The movie looks RAD but I'm a little sad that it's the only AWESOME movie coming this summer.
Alex - How do you make a game fail? Give Sega the summer's #1 movie license. OHHHHH!!! (Side note to self: Read Iron Man comics.)
Fat Princess: Fistful of Cake (PSP)
Paul - I heard that this game was not that good. To be honest, any game with "King" or "Princess" or "Fat" in the title just passes me by.
Alex - Paul, why did I tell you to add this to the list? It's not like I care enough to even look up a trailer for the PSP version of the game. I was a little interested in the original until I heard it was completely broken.
May 11
3D Dot Game Heroes (PS3)
Paul - I sorta want to play this. It's cheap and I've been wanting to play a new 2D Zelda game for a while. The cutesy self-parody is unappealing, but Zelda games have that junk anyways. I like the surprisingly high-quality graphics, but the forced perspective effect makes me a little nauseous. Oof!
Alex - Everything about this game looks great EXCEPT that it looks exactly like the original Zelda. Don't get me wrong, I really like the original Zelda, but it just seems a little too simple and boring for a lengthy modern game. Then again I really, really liked Darksiders and that game is probably more like Zelda than even 3D Dot Heroes is.
Skate 3 (everything)
Paul - Who still plays skating games?
Alex - Skate 1 was the first game I got when I bought a 360. The original holds a special place in my heart. I played the demo for Skate 2 and 3, but I just can't get interested in them again. Skating games need a renaissance.
Lost Planet 2
Paul - I owned the original Lost Planet for a while when I first got my 360. It was impressive but wayyy too Capcomy for me. Very difficult even when you're not under a constant time restraint. As soon as they showed that the Gears of War guys were in it I lost any interest in the sequel. But then I heard there were submarine mechs??
Alex - The original was a generic, good but not great game. The sequel looks to be the same. Looks like a great bargain bin item.
May 18
Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
Paul - I loved the last Prince of Persia game, so I was sad they didn't continue on with those characters and art style. I never played the original Sands of Time, but this just reeks of movie tie-in. Ubisoft is so annoying.
Alex - I'm with Paul on this. I really liked the PoP reboot. Reboots of pretty much every series, movie or games, in the past 8 years have been great, why the hell would they go backwards? Oh, because the scrawny kid from Donnie Darko did steroids? Okay that makes sense.
LOLOLOLOLOL
Attack of the Movies 3D
Paul - A budget 3D game. I feel like this fell back in time from 2012 when there will be lots of crappy 3D games like this.
Alex - Holy shit, a theme park ride for your living room! I love how on gametrailers.com it has a user rating of 10 because one person rated it. This game looks hilariously great if it were only a dollar.
Alan Wake
Paul - I was very interested in this when it was first announced years ago. My excitement has cooled the more I've seen of it because it looks more actiony than I hoped it would be. However, playing Deadly Premonition got me excited again for a mysterious game set in a small lumber town that actually has good graphics and play mechanics.
Alex - Wasn't this supposed to be a launch game or something? Only 5 years late. Long enough for me to not care too much anymore. It does sound pretty good though, and if it's highly rated I'll likely pick it up. I'm curious to see the whole "light as weapons" mechanic.
Red Dead Redemption
Paul - I am very excited for this. The world, graphics and gameplay all look good, plus it feels like it will be more of an open-ended adventure than Rockstar's GTA games. Got me excited to ride a horse for the first time since Shadow of the Colossus!
Alex - Despite everyone being really excited for this game I jsut seem to find myself not looking forward to it. I think I'm still disappointed with GTAIV and so it's hard for me to separate this game far enough from that. This is a good time to plug an old blog that Paul and I used to maintain 2 years ago (it only lasted 2 months, we are doing much better now, but I think Iwas funnier back then.) So check out this post about GTAIV from our old blog and you'll see why I was so disappointed.
Split/Second
Paul - This looks like a Beetle Adventure Racing for 2010. I'm sure Alex will get it.
Alex - I really like the burnout series and this game looks pretty close to that experience except you make shit blow up and cause persistent changes to the track? Yeah, I'm in. Also I like any game where the term "persistent" applies.
May 23
Super Mario Galaxy 2
Paul - I admit I want to play this, but only because I never played the first Galaxy. So I guess I should play that. Too bad I don't have a Wii... Alex, give me your Wii.
Alex - Paul, you have 3 Wiis in your living room, why do you need mine? I'll probably pick this game up. I wasn't excited for Galaxy when it came out, but damn that game was great. I'm not excited for this either, but i'm positive the game will be excellent. I feel pretty much the same way about all of Nintendo's "hardcore" franchises.
May 25
UFC Undisputed 10
Paul - Another game I'll never think about. UFC is the WWE with all the fun taken out.
Alex - My dad and I beat the shit out of eachother in the first UFC game, and that was fun. I'll never buy this but I hope my brother or dad get it so I can beat the living snot out of them. I did hear that they are making the controls more accessible which is good because the original required more study time than Turbo Mega Alpha Super Street Fighter Omega 15 in order to play decently.
Blur
Paul - Whenever I see this I get confused because Blur is my favorite band. Blur the racing game is supposed to be like Mario Kart but with real cars. Sounds cool if I was 13 and at a sleep-over.
Alex - I can't believe this game and Split Second are coming out at the same time. Unfortunately for Blur, Split/Second looks more original and therefore better. Sorry Blur.
Modnation Racers (PS3, PSP)
Paul - I really dig the Kevin Butler/PS3 commercial for this game. I don't know much about it but it sorta looks like Little Big Planet but with karts... but crappier than that would be.
Alex - Does anyone remember Penny Racers? This game sort of reminds me of Penny Racers for N64 which was an AWESOME game...until i played it a few years later...
May 26
Hexyz Force (PSP)
Paul - Games like this always trick me into wanting a PSP. I like RPGs that have different quests with different main characters, like this has. I think I can now say that iPad RPGs are cooler than PSP RPGs. Thanks, Chaos Rings!
Alex - Paul, Chaos Rings is only for iPhone right now, the only reason I don't buy it is because they already said they are working on an ipad version, which I would rather have. Now on to Hexyz Force. This game SCREAMS mid-generation Japanese PS1 RPG, everything from the style to the music to the gameplay. And wow...shit I want this game.
May 30
Rocket Knight
Paul - The original Rocket Knight/Sparkster games are really forgotten classics. I'm excited to see Konami go back to the franchise with an all-new game (no updated port). The art style is really impressive too, creating this storybook, pseudo-puppet show aesthetic that looks like a lot of fun.
Alex - As a Genesis owner back in the day, I LOVED renting Rocket Knight. I recently played Sparkster for Game-A-Day and it still holds up as a great game. I hope with the increased screen space they can do something with Rocket Knight's extreme mobility. I'm cautious about this game for fear of being really disappointed.
Boy (Cub) Scouts Create Video Game Pin, World Gets Dumber
crafted by: AlexFrom the title, some of you already be thinking "Shut up! Video games can promote things like hand eye coordination, and BLAH BLAH BLAH" Some of you might not even read this far and already be commenting on how I'm stupid. (actually I just wish people who weren't spam bots would comment on this blog, even if it were to call me stupid.) Well, if you were to do this you would fall right in with everyone else in the world that I just realized is really dumb. Today I was browsing CNN.com and came across a story that the Cub Scouts, which is part of the Boy Scouts Associations, added a video game belt loop / pin to their collection of goodies that kids can earn. That seems a little odd, yes. Oh, someone right at the start of the comments posted a link to the requirements for the badge from the official site. Let's see what they are:
I killed 100 goombas for this thing!
Belt Loop
Complete these three requirements:
- Explain why it is important to have a rating system for video games. Check your video games to be sure they are right for your age.
- With an adult, create a schedule for you to do things that includes your chores, homework, and video gaming. Do your best to follow this schedule.
- Learn to play a new video game that is approved by your parent, guardian, or teacher.
Oh, wow, that seems like a very responsible way for kids to learn that videogames should be played in moderation, that only appropriate games should be played, and that schedules are very important. Schedules are especially important because even college students and full time employees have a difficult time balancing their personal life with their school work. To get a pin, cub scouts need to teach others how to play games, compare prices of the same game at many places, do a comparative analysis of two consoles to decide which would be more preferable, and other life lessons.
Bio Force Ape? More Like Bio Force Awesome
crafted by: AlexOn 1up.com last week, the 1up team played an interesting game called Bio Force Ape for NES on their Game Night segment. You can watch the video here or read on for why you should care. You can listen to the 1up editors discuss it in more detail but the basic premise is as follows. Bio Force Ape was an NES game that was in development and even demoed at CES way back in the day. The game never came out. The editors of 1up bought the only copy known to be in existence off of eBay for roughly $2,700. Not only is it interesting for those reasons, the game itself is insane. You play an ape transformed into a big beast that pile drives guys in bee costumes and can suplex a kangaroo that has human legs. Check out the video, it really is an fascinating piece of gaming history.
The other interesting part of the story is that a person claimed to have gotten his hands on the game and posted fake pictures of the game. He made crazier and crazier images to see how much he could get people to believe. What you see below is the fart attack... The forum posts can be seen here.
Bio Force Fart
RIP Game-A-Day
crafted by: Alex
Bye bye Game-A-Day
Paul an I are busy people. We use our precious time to bring you interesting things to look at and read. Despite how exploding we are, we have to unfortunately announce that Game-A-Day will no longer be Game-A-Day but rather Game-A-WheneverTheHellWeFeelLikeIt. However, in the time it took to write those short and bitter posts, we will be able to focus our energy on more interesting things. Do not fear, we are not leaving, but rather, we are leveling up.
Love,
Alex & Paul
SNES-A-Day: Axelay
crafted by: PaulAxelay
Time Played: 3 minutes
Floating sky asteroids destroyed: 6
What can be said about Axelay? It's basically "Mode 7: The Game 2" (sequel to Pilotwings...). Even at my age, I was like WOW IMPRESSIVE GRAPHICS, then I got nauseous and had to sit with my head between my knees for 30 minutes.
Shooters (or "shmups") like this are very aggravating, and just take so many playthroughs to memorize that it is often not worth it. I especially hate the mechanic of enemies forming a circle around you, requiring you to quickly switch to yous shoots-in-circle mode to survive. Bleh
This is the last "A" game in my sea-warped box of SNES games. At first I felt so relieved - it's been a rough journey. But looking ahead, it looks like things are only going to get rougher. Batman games, Battletoads, Bass fishing games, and Bubsys litter my path forward. I thought this would get easier, but the view from here breaks my neck. Maybe I'll rethink my alphabetic policy...
“Casual Games,” Just What I Needed
crafted by: AlexI haven't had much time for playing games lately. I have barely had time to keep up with the blog for that matter. My weekends have been busy visiting friends I don't see often including Pokemon Trainer Kev and Paul (which includes being out in NYC till 5am both weekend nights and recovering all week.) I have started jogging again (with some of my pokemon like Mr. Sizzle). Most importantly I have been prepping for a large project that will hopefully affect my career in the future.
However this isn't an excuse for why i havn't been writing, i really do need to keep on top of it, but rather how "casual games" are keeping me gaming when otherwise i wouldn't even bother. I think i have played Plants vs. Zombies on iPad almost every day since i bought it 2 weeks ago but I'm only on level 3-5. If you have ever paid close attention to how fast i play games, i could clock 40 hours in a game in a week an a half. Now I seem to find myself gaming for 10-40 minutes at a time rather than 3-5 hours. I love the range of games that exist today. Zombie Smash on the iPhone I play AT LEAST once a day while in the bathroom. A single level is just the perfect length. When i'm climbing into bed I might grab the iPad and a single level of Plants vs Zombies. Last night I purchased Shatter on the PSN, and wow is that game good. I've been stressed lately and these games are pure fun and great stress relief.
I actually work at the same place as my father, and know that our place of employment can be high stress sometimes. He recieved a PS3 with Modern Warfare, Uncharted, Uncharted 2, and while he likes those, he recently requested for his birthday, more "mindless" games like Little Big Planet. So I decided to get him some PSN points and send a list of PSN games that i have heard or read good things about:
- WipeOut HD
- Critter Crunch
- Flower
- Braid
- Peggle
- Shatter
- Super Stardust HD
- Everyday Shooter
- Trine
I'll update you on what he gets and how he likes it when he lets me know.
For the first time I think i really understand the appeal of these games. I have always liked the full spectrum of games but these past couple weeks I have really been appreciating how downloadable games created a market, and an experience, that has never existed before. I wish I had enough time to go back and beat the 4 games I've started recently, but right now, I'm just excited to crawl into bed later and play some Shatter.
Only 99... wait, where is the "cents" key? Oh well, $0.99? Yes, Please!
Genesis-A-Day: Animaniacs
crafted by: AlexUpon finding a magic lamp, Alex rubs out a genie. Obviously, Alex wishes for a ton of genesis games. In this feature, Alex documents the results of that wish.
More of this!
Time played: 5 minutes.
People/animals kissed: 4.
I felt bad taking this game because Paul must be playing it soon on SNES since he takes his games in alphabetical order, but i really wanted to play this. I forgot how it played form back in the day, but after about 2 seconds I remembered that this is actually a fun game. Remember Three Vikings? Each one had a unique ability, and you solved puzzles by using the right ability it the right time. It plays out like a puzzle game rather than an action platformer.
One has a hammer, one has a ping pong paddle, and one blows kisses. For some reason the hammer lights fuses to bombs and cannons? That took me a long time to figure out. It's a funny game (T-Rex with robot legs running by for no reason? Yes please.) It's not perfect, the controls are a little finicky, but I really enjoyed this game. I want to go back and see all the levels which have a movie set theme to all of them which gives it variety, yet an interesting play on the scenery.
A Turbo Oral History Pt. 1
crafted by: Paul
Like Mega Man said, "We are the sum of our experiences." One of the exciting things about being an adult gamer is sharing your gaming background with other adult gamers. Every gamer is different, because every gamer grew up in a different environment, with different access to different games and gaming devices. So, in the great tradition of ... oral tradition, Turbo Boss Battle's two editors present the first part of their gaming history.
Alex: I'll start with a question to you to get started: What was the first game you played, how old were you, and what year was it?
Paul: The earliest game I remember playing was Metroid for NES at my cousins’ house. It must have been 1990 or 91, so I was 3 or 4. That's what I feel in my gut anyways
Paul: Now back at you. First game?
Alex: It was Mario and Duck Hunt for me, that’s what I remember playing a lot of when I was really young. My parents said I was 2 when I started playing which would have made it 1989. I definitely don't know how much I actually "played" but my parents joke that I was basically born with a controller in my hand
Paul: So your older brother had an NES?
Alex: Yeah, it was my brother's. Strangely, I don't remember playing video games with my brother at all even though we shared video games consoles for many years
Alex: What was your first system?
Genesis-A-Day: World Heroes
crafted by: AlexUpon finding a magic lamp, Alex rubs out a genie. Obviously, Alex wishes for a ton of genesis games. In this feature, Alex documents the results of that wish.
Time played: 3 minutes.
Matches won: enough.
Every time I see that i have chosen a fighter for the Game-A-Day section, I get really excited. I like unique fighting games, and I wish I could play Bio F.R.E.A.K.S for Game-A-Day because that game is just so freaking cool, at least in my memories. So I was excited for world heroes, and for the screen you see to the right. But this game can't get any more generic or less technical. It would have been more fun if they took Battletoads and made is versus. I realize why i shouldn't get excited about fighting games I've never heard of because that simply means they are bad and not worth hearing about. This game isn't an exception. DERRRRRP!
The Art of Slowly Displaying Text…
crafted by: Alex
- Wat you don't see here, is that it took 3 minutes for that one sentence to be displayed
At what point did game developers decide that gamers have reading level of a 3rd grader. I'm not talking about the difficulty of the reading, but rather how fast it is displayed to the player and the inability for then player to skip text. Most retail games these days use voice overs, but even those will need to display the occasional text box.
I have played 3 games recently where the display of text is excruciatingly slow. Pokemon, Infinite Space, and Deadly Premonition. Deadly premonition mostly uses text for item descriptions, but holy shit are those descriptions slow to be displayed. It's like someone in the TV is typing out the text on a typewrite. If you you hold B, then it's like that person upgraded to a keyboard and computer.
In Infinite Space, it isn't enough that you have to talk to a person multiple times to get quests, the text is again, slow as hell. Nothing is worse than talking to the same person multiple times, and they repeat the exact same thing, and you can't fucking skip it! Seriously? I have to read the same shit again, as if a 4 year old is typing it out with it's index fingers?
Pokemon is a slow fucking game anyways. But the battle text may as well be replaced with snails that squirm around the screen to spell shit out.
What is the point of this slow text? Is it the developer's way of forcing you to read their story? Well guess what, I would actually read it if the whole box of text was displayed at once and I could press a to advance the text whenever I wanted. Instead i find myself making a sandwich while I wait for a text box to fill up simply out of boredom. At the very least give players a text option of "instant" that throws all the text on screen at once.
Developers, please stop insulting our intelligence, or at very least our reading ability. If people don't want to read you piss poor writing, they won't, but they might stop playing your game if they are forced to wait for you to fill up a text box.
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- Am I worse at Fallout 3 than I used to be or has it just been surpassed by way better games? -p
- New post: POKEMON B/W LEGENDS REVEALED! (http://cli.gs/Tsahh)
- worst thing about SF so far? billboards for Zynga games - paul
- finally understanding the appeal of Castlevania - paul
