POKEMON B/W LEGENDS REVEALED!
crafted by: Pokémon Trainer Kev
Looks like we have pictures of Pokemon Black/White's Legendary Pokemon. White get's RESHIRAM and Black will receive ZEKROM. I'm a little let down in the design. Just a bit! I think Reshiram looks a little wonky but is truly weird looking. I have to give them credit in creating a truly bizarre looking Pokemon. I love the big white wolf cock sprouting between its legs. Hilarious. Zekrom is completely badass but a little too boring looking. Here is what the Japanese site has to say...
"Reshiram, with a pure-white body, will be in Pocket Monsters Black, while Zekrom, with a lacquer-black body, will appear in Pocket Monsters White. Each of them are Legendary Pokemon that have a big connection to the history of the Isshu region and hold the important key to the story."
Let's hope the "story" is a completely new and engaging experience this time around! Thanks pokebeach.com for the info!
Pokémon Sunday Reveals Black/White Battle Video
crafted by: Pokémon Trainer KevIt looks like Pokemon Black/White may be the best Pokemon game of all time. Not only does the game get a fresh coat of paint with more use of 3D graphics and some design tweaks, we also get full motion sprites. Below is a video showing the NEW Pokemon battle scenes. Enjoy!
START HERE! BLACK/WHITE STARTERS OVERVIEW!
crafted by: Pokémon Trainer Kev
Prof. Rowan: "Your puns are weak..."
Now we have full body shots of the Black/White starters. Like with EVERY release of starters, people have been bitching and cumming in their pantaloons across the web. Me? I’m on the fence here. The Kanto starters will always be my favorite. Squirtle, Charmander, and Bulbasaur are just too darn cool and their find forms are pretty badass. What I see a lot of on the nets is the constant complaint that these new starters are uninspiring. Huh? Hold on. As cool as the Kanto starters were, they were essentially a lizard, a toad, and a salamander. Uninspired? Let’s give the new starters a once over, shall we?
CoroCoro Scans and Screenshots!!!
crafted by: Pokémon Trainer Kev
Prof. Rowan: "They look dumb!"
Alright! Looks like we’ve finally got those leaked CoroCoro scans! Woo! Below is a picture of the three new starters. They are Tsutaaja (Grass), Pokabu (Fire), and Mijumaru (Water). They look… interesting. They roughly translate to an ivy snake, a fire pig, and a sea otter. The fire pig looks kinda’ stupid but I dig the otter and snake style the other two are sporting. Should evolve into some rad looking Pokemon. Here is some general info about what the articles detail. Click on the images for a high resolution!
Sorry for SLAKING, guys!!!
crafted by: Pokémon Trainer Kev
Prof. Rowan: "There's no excuse for this. You were just being fucking lazy."
Wowee!!! It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? These past few months have been a roller coaster ride for me. But who cares about that, jazz? It’s Pokémon time!
So, what’s new? A few months ago, CoroCoro released the first ever screenshots of Pokémon Black/White. Like most prerelease pictures, these are probably beta shots. I hope they are at least. The new “3D” aspect of going through cities looks a little bland. Hopefully with the release, the city in this pic will have more life. The new battle mode could be cool if they smooth out the sprites significantly. Again, most likely beta shots. I’m guessing HP gauges and stuff will move to the bottom screen this time around so you can see all of your Pokémon in battle. Cool town! I also love that Pokémarts will be in Pokémon Centers now. Never understood the point of having two separate shops. There's a lot of talk about cars being used in this game lately. Dunno. Sound ridiculous to me. You’re supposed to be a kid in this game.
But the Pokémon precum doesn’t end there! Pokémon Sunday released the silhouettes of your Pokémon Black/White starters. From the looks of it, I love how weird these starters could be. Usually you get a hint of some sort of animal or reptile with starters. But this trio looks really weird. I can make out a duck creature, a pig creature, and maybe a beaver type creature. You poons are gonna love my thread about choosing starters when this game finally comes out.
Forums and nerd sites have been listing what they want in a new Pokémon game so I’ll throw my hat in the ring and do the Celery Man for you guys.
Pokémon Black and Pokémon White
crafted by: Pokémon Trainer KevWord's finally out on the new Pokémon games coming out in Japan this Autumn. These new games are supposed to "revolutionize" the entire series. Only time will tell. This month's CoroCoro is supposed to feature an article on the new games. I will post images and information when available. 
Pay Attention!!!
crafted by: Pokémon Trainer Kev
Prof. Rowan: "Open your ears and shut your mouth for a minute!!!"
This is a fake Pokémon
The Pokémon Masters over at Serebii.net sent out an important message today and I thought I’d do the same. There are going to be a shit ton of fake Pokémon stuff being tossed at your face these coming months due to CoroCoro’s announcement of showing more Gen V stuff in its May issue. April fools day is coming up too. Expect some expertly crafted fake Pokémon and straight up lies about new game play features. Serebii.net, as well as myself, will always try to update you with the latest legitimate news. Be sharp, kids!
FROM JOHTO WITH LOVE! EPISODE 1
crafted by: Pokémon Trainer Kev
A continuing series about my adventures in Pokémon SoulSilver.
EPISODE 1: Fucking up Falkner
So I arrive in the Johto Region at New Bark Town ready to start my Pokémon adventure. Things have drastically changed since the last time I was here. The graphics are more detailed, there’s more use of sound and weather effects, and there’s more use for your touch screen. Thank god! The game’s aesthetics really shine. They have been drastically polished since Platinum and I was surprised at all the small details. Water looks like water and grass looks like grass. Wow! But in all seriousness it’s a very pretty game. A new feature to these games is the ability to have you mom save money for you as you win battles.
You can decline and be a wasteful greedy fuck or you can play it Wall Street and take advantage of this wise investment. Thanks, mom. Now I can buy beer.
AND NOW A MESSAGE FROM PIKACHU!!!
crafted by: Pokémon Trainer Kev
Prof. Rowan: "What the fuck is this shit?!"
PIKACHUUUU!!!
Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika chu! Pika pika! Pika! Pika chuuu! Pika pika! Pika chu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika! Pika pika! Pika! Pika pika! Pika! Pika pika! Pika! Pika chuuu! Pika chuuu! Pika chuu! Pika! Pika chuu! Pika! Pika chuu! Pika! Pika chuu! Pika! Pika chuu! Pika! Pika pika! Pika chu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika chu! Pika pika! Pika! Pika chuuu! Pika pika! Pika chu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika chu! Pika pika! Pika! Pika chuuu! Pika pika! Pika chu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika chu! Pika pika! Pika! Pika chuuu! Pika pika! Pika chu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika chu! Pika pika! Pika! Pika chuuu! Pika pika! Pika chu! Pika pika! Pika chuu! Pika pika!
GIRAFARIG YOU!
crafted by: Pokémon Trainer Kev
Prof. Rowan: "I see you've caught yourself a Girafarig... lookin' really gay, Son."
Girafarig... Fuck!
Last Thursday the storm god was on his period and launched an epic assault on Massachusetts. His fury was swift and he destroyed my cable/internet access leaving me to brush up on my art house cinema collection and leather bound books. In between reading and jerking off to French New Wave, I flipped open my DSlite and started fucking around Pokémon Platinum. I hadn’t captured a Pokemon in ages so I decided to capture the first one I ran into. I caught a Girafarig… There’s nothing remotely interesting about this idiot other than its tail sporting a terrifying smiley face. He’s just a stupid looking Giraffe with a pink nose. Let’s brush up on our Pokémon studies shall we?
Pokédex: “The head on its tail contains a small brain. It can instinctively fight even while facing backward.”
Girafarig is the Long Neck Pokémon. Wow that’s really surprising! Long Neck Pokémon? Hmmm! Maybe because he’s a shitty giraffe?! This dumb idiot is one of only two normal dual-type Pokémon that is not part flying-type. The other normal dual-type Pokémon is Bibarel. What is a Bibarel? Bibarel is a fucking giant beaver with down syndrome. Sinnoh is swarming with these assholes and I think I still have one in my Pokémon collection. I may have curb stomped it.
Bibarel sucks!
Girafarig can learn a shit load of move sets so it’s not a bad catch. The problem lies in the design. But that seems to be the problem with Pokémon these days. Great Pokémon move sets but a terrible looking Pokémon. Normal-type Pokémon are too much of a mixed bag even though they can rock the tournament circuits if trained properly. It’s a shame that the only two normal dual-type Pokémon look like dumbasses.
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- Am I worse at Fallout 3 than I used to be or has it just been surpassed by way better games? -p
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