Turbo Boss Battle! Daily Gaming. Daily Exploding Shotgun Shells.

9May/100

Sorry for SLAKING, guys!!!

crafted by: Pokémon Trainer Kev

Prof. Rowan: "There's no excuse for this. You were just being fucking lazy."

Wowee!!! It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? These past few months have been a roller coaster ride for me. But who cares about that, jazz? It’s Pokémon time!

So, what’s new? A few months ago, CoroCoro released the first ever screenshots of Pokémon Black/White. Like most prerelease pictures, these are probably beta shots. I hope they are at least. The new “3D” aspect of going through cities looks a little bland. Hopefully with the release, the city in this pic will have more life. The new battle mode could be cool if they smooth out the sprites significantly. Again, most likely beta shots. I’m guessing HP gauges and stuff will move to the bottom screen this time around so you can see all of your Pokémon in battle. Cool town! I also love that  Pokémarts will be in Pokémon Centers now. Never understood the point of having two separate shops. There's a lot of talk about cars being used in this game lately. Dunno. Sound ridiculous to me. You’re supposed to be a kid in this game.

But the Pokémon precum doesn’t end there! Pokémon Sunday released the silhouettes of your Pokémon Black/White starters. From the looks of it, I love how weird these starters could be. Usually you get a hint of some sort of animal or reptile with starters. But this trio looks really weird. I can make out a duck creature, a pig creature, and maybe a beaver type creature. You poons are gonna love my thread about choosing starters when this game finally comes out.

Forums and nerd sites have been listing what they want in a new Pokémon game so I’ll throw my hat in the ring and do the Celery Man for you guys.

25Jan/102

KEV’S TOP TEN BADASS POKÉMON

crafted by: Pokémon Trainer Kev

This list doesn’t contain Legendary Pokémon because I’m sure Alex and Paul will force me to write a top 10 Legendary Pokémon article at some point! The Pokémon in this list are based entirely on how BADASS they are. These righteous dudes are lucky enough to chill out in my Pokéballs! Let’s begin in no particular order…

10. EMPOLEON

It always amazes me how the water-type starters tend to be the best. Pokémon Platinum introduced two great starters, Piplup and Turtwig. Both would evolve into pure badasses. Unfortunately the fire starter, a piece of shit monkey with a dog poop haircut, would only evolve into a larger flaming ape. He sucks. Empoleon begins as a cute blue penguin chick and gradually evolves into an angrier more royal looking ass kicker. Look at that guy! Steel water-type?! Wild! Blade fins and a sick crown beak? Empoleon rocks!