Genesis-A-Day: Air Diver
crafted by: AlexUpon finding a magic lamp, Alex rubs out a genie. Obviously, Alex wishes for a ton of genesis games. In this feature, Alex documents the results of that wish.
Time played:2 minutes.
Planes shot down: 5.
While normally I would write how shitty this game is. I think I can see where it would appeal to a young me. The cockpit of this plane looks cool. And there's a great boot up sequence where you cockpit closes right before you take off. This plays like an After Burner clone, but I think the cockpit gives it a more exciting feel. Also I like that planes can actually come from behind you, rather than always from the front. You can't actually turn around, so you just have to dodge around like an idiot till they just as stupidly fly by so you can shoot them. I'm still impressed by how cool the cockpit is, even though it takes up half the screen the entire time. Wait... why is this game called Air Diver, that doesn't make sense.
SNES-A-Day: Animaniacs
crafted by: Paul
Animaniacs
Time played: 3 minutes
Times laughed: 0
I think I remember renting and playing this game when I was an Animaniac maniac (ugh) back in the day. At the time I found it incomprehensible, and what do you know, it still is. Like the Aah! Real Monsters game I wrote about several weeks ago, this falls into that "multiple character cartoon platformer" genre that existed solely for crappy licensed games back on the SNES. You gotta use all the Warners (Yakko, Wakko, and Dot) to get around obstacles and shit. If one of them gets captured, you have to jump all the way to the top of the Warner Bros. water tower to rescue them. That alone is impossible and made me turn the game off.
I will hand it to this game that the sprites are well animated, and that each Warner reacts differently to NPC's and other events happening in the levels (for example, the boy Warners checking out that hot nurse).
I think I remember the Tiny Toons game being better, but I'm not sure. I'm certainly glad there was never a Freakazoid game because I still love that show.
Genesis-A-Day: Syd of Valis
crafted by: AlexUpon finding a magic lamp, Alex rubs out a genie. Obviously, Alex wishes for a ton of genesis games. In this feature, Alex documents the results of that wish.
I died 2.3 seconds later
Time played: 2 minutes.
Girls in School Girl Outfits: Probably a lot.
This game is terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible. 2D platformers were the staple of the 16 bit era, likely thanks to Mario. But it's shocking how many 2D platforms suck so hard. The screen doesn't even scroll to the right until you are 3/4 of the way to the right side of the screen, by the time an enemy is visible, it is almost hitting you. Luckily i learned i can hold the B button to jsut auto fire my sword fire ball attack and jsut run to the right. The boss is impossible. RRAWWWWWRRRRG I hate this game.
SNES-A-Day: Andre Agassi Tennis
crafted by: Paul
CHEH!
Andre Agassi Tennis
Time played: 4 minutes
Balls hit: 5?
The problem with my approach to playing through all the SNES games I found is that I chose to go alphabetically in my play order. Alex and Brendan took an easier route in which they just pick at random or go for whatever looks good. Not me, if Andre Agassi Tennis is next on my list, I have to play it.
And play it I did! Nothing to say. It's a boring tennis game. The first tennis game I actually liked was Mario Tennis for the Virtual Boy - that was rad. The only good part about this game is that it had a "practice" mode that let me slap around some balls from a ball machine. I haven't seen this in many other tennis games, and it made the process of realizing how terrible the controls are relatively painless because there was no opponent or breaks in the action. Just pure suck.
Genesis-A-Day: James Pond 3 – Operation Starfish
crafted by: AlexUpon finding a magic lamp, Alex rubs out a genie. Obviously, Alex wishes for a ton of genesis games. In this feature, Alex documents the results of that wish.
Time played: 3 minutes.
# of limbs fish apparently have: 4
Okay, game 3 is again another completely different game. This one plays like a mix of Sonic and Mario Bros. 2. First off, when you run down a hill you pick up some incredibly speed which you then use that momentum to make it up the hill on the other side. All those random items used for points in the first two games are now interactive. You can pick them up like in Mario Bros. 2 then throw them. There was a bomb that exploded and an umbrella that slowed down Mr. Ponds fall speed. This all seems pretty interesting actually, except that I couldn't figure out how to get over the second hill in the game. I'm curious how the item interaction works later in the game but I don't have the patience for any more of James Pond's bullshit. I need to find the James Pond game where he competes in the Olympics. How did 3 (or more) of these games get made???
SNES-A-Day: An American Tail: Fievel Goes West
crafted by: PaulAn American Tail: Fievel Goes West
Time Played: 1 minute
Cats killed: 0
Cats are forever given the bad rap in modern American media. Thankfully the internet's obsession with cats being cute has started to shine a positive light on our feline friends. The crappy SNES game adaptation of the crappy wild west mouse movie An American Tail: Fievel Goes West, however, is terribly biased against cats. Also it is just terrible. Another floaty movie-based SNES game. But check out this Game Over screen, it is legit terrifying:
You die now!
Genesis-A-Day: James Pond 2 – Codename RoboCod
crafted by: AlexUpon finding a magic lamp, Alex rubs out a genie. Obviously, Alex wishes for a ton of genesis games. In this feature, Alex documents the results of that wish.
Time played: 1 minutes.
Times James Pond looked like a weiner: 3.
He can go on like this forever...
Wow this game is completely different than the original. This plays out like a pretty standard platformer, except you get an ability to stretch your body to look like a wiener with a fish head and with fish hands? I was unaware what this was for at first other than to grab random items for points (umbrella, tire, ice cream cone, I told you it was random.) Apparently you can stretch you body to grab the ceiling and shimming your way over pits in the slowest way possibly. A decent upgrade of the original James Pond, but still forgettable.
SNES-A-Day: American Gladiators
crafted by: Paul
Be still my heart fart!
American Gladiators
Time played: 6 minutes
Events won: 0
More like, events understood: 0! This game makes no sense. On several occasions I found myself in the "goal" zone after dodging bullets to get there, but the clock still counting down. They wouldn't let me leave the game! I'm no American Gladiators expert - I know enough to think references to the colorful "cast" of gladiators is funny, but I don't know most of the actual events besides the padded-q-tip duel.
Fortunately the game let me zip right along through the contests, and fortunately the computer was dumb enough that often both of us lost the event.
I won't lie, I played this several days ago still in a haze of sickness so I can't remember most of what happened. But I took lots of pictures.
None of me are champions!
Boobs vs legs! Both muscley!
Genesis-A-Day: James Pond
crafted by: AlexUpon finding a magic lamp, Alex rubs out a genie. Obviously, Alex wishes for a ton of genesis games. In this feature, Alex documents the results of that wish.
Time played: 3 minutes.
High Score: 36,930.
This game seems heavily influenced by arcade games. The object is to complete some mission like "free the crabs from their cages" while collect random shit for your high score. Since you are underwater you just move freely in two dimensions. There is only 1 button, the shoot bubble button. Which is confusing when you want to pick up an item.. The game play is boring, I imagine they meant to thrill people who find secret areas full of umbrellas worth 80 points each, but since we don't live in an age of high scores anymore...zzzzzzzz. Look for my Game-A-Days of James Pond 2 and 3 over the next week to see how oddly this series evolves.
Genesis-a-Day: James Bond The Dual
crafted by: AlexUpon finding a magic lamp, Alex rubs out a genie. Obviously, Alex wishes for a ton of genesis games. In this feature, Alex documents the results of that wish.
Time played: 2 minutes.
Time unfairly shot: Every time.
I've been shot... AGAIN!
I actually selected this game because I thought it said James Pond, I really wanted to play those games. Don't let this game fool you. While it initially seems interesting that enemies die in one hit and when you get shot, there's a neat animation that makes it look like you really got hurt, this game sucks big time. Every enemy you simply duck and shoot to defeat. Except when an enemy isn't on even footing due to stairs and or a ladder, expect to get shot before you get a chance to shoot back, Or get knocked off a ledge and die. Oh also, don't be confused, I thought the blond woman x2 was the number of lives i had, turns out I needed to save them. This game is as disappointing as every James Bond game except Goldeneye.
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